Why men don't like women with insecurities | Tips to save your relationship

The one thing that my two-year relationship taught me was that guys indeed are hunters looking for their prey. They are visual creatures, and that, they get attracted to what they see, but they operate on emotions as well, and when you receive those emotions and reciprocate them, odds are they will fall in love.


Every relationship has its own storms, and most often it is because of the insecurities of the girls in it. Now, I don't mean to say, guys aren't insecure at all, of course, they are, they too are humans after all.

Why are women insecure about their bodies?

Marketing and advertising have now taken a sharp turn and the investors rely on paid Instagram influencers rather than TV ads because the audience seems to be more connected to the social media influencers.

These models as their job demands, post seemingly perfect pictures with layers of makeup and dozens of filters and heavy photoshopping before they reach the viewers’ eyes, and we innocent people buy that lie.

 I don’t know who to blame, should I blame us, for not having enough confidence or should I blame the models for portraying the image of perfection, which doesn’t exist?

 We get easily swayed by what we see around us. We need to know this, that being a certain way, a certain size, a certain shape or even a certain colour is not amongst the standards of beauty, we have just made it up all ourselves.

What do men think about your physical insecurities?

When it comes down to men, there is hardly an exception. Just like you don't care about a man's past life and physical flaws when you fall in love with them, neither do they. You might be freaking out right now, thinking how "awful" that tummy fat makes you look, but men, they do not care about it, they love you for you. And a little side note, that little belly is a sign of fertility so be happy about it.

When a guy genuinely likes you, he won’t care for your stretch marks, he won’t care if you have that ugly pimple, he won’t care if your inner thighs are dark, he just wanna be between them and I swear by this, ladies!

How insecurity affects your relationship?

When you are insecure, you aren't really happy with yourself and when you aren't happy, you will fail to make your partner happy. 

The truth is, insecurity is a deal breaker in any relationship. For instance, imagine when you make out with a guy and even if he sees your stretch marks he ignores it, but now in the another case, if he was to make out with you and all that time you kept obsessing over your stretch marks and how ugly you think it is, and so all that he can think about now, is your stretch marks. The point I am stressing over here is that if you accept yourself and your body so will everybody else.

How to fight insecurity in your relationships:-

•  Don't judge current relationship on the basis of the previous relationship- 
  
  We girls have this toxic trait of comparing every guy to that of our ex. If your ex cheated on you, it doesn't necessarily mean so will your present boyfriend. You have to let go of that fear, and trust your relationship with this new guy. You have got to allow adventure and love and that can happen only when you forget about that past and stop dragging it in your present and destroying your future.

• Don't overthink-  This is the other toxic trait we possess, where we overthink so much that we tend to create problems that don't even exist in the first place. It's okay if he still hasn't replied to your text, that doesn't signify he is cheating on you. 

• Be vocal from the start- This is very important, we girls speak up only when something goes wrong, but why, why do we wait for things to go wrong so that then we can act? It's important that we initiate open honest conversations from the start and communicate our standards and things that we would never tolerate, i.e. cheating.

• Provide your partner with his personal space- We girls tend to become extra caring and affectionate when we start to like somebody and we always wanna be around them, but ladies that not how guys roll, they need to be provided with their personal space. The more you try to glue a guy to you, the more he will think it's suffocating for him to be with you and he'll think of leaving. So, go to that cafe with your friends or go shopping with your mom, do whatever and have a life, besides your man and live it, and let him live his. 

• Remember relationships aren't always a bed of roses-  Things might be great in the start but things will gradually gravitate back to normal, but that doesn't mean "the spark is gone" or "he is cheating on you". The thing is, you have to realize that someday your partner will not be his best self and that's okay. Every relationship has its highs and lows, you just have to accept that reality.

• Don't ever snoop- 
  
  I saved the best one for the last, because ladies, once you reach there, there is absolutely no going back. I know this is very tempting, but you have to trust your partner. And the odds are, when you look into his phone and search that hard, you will find something and you will definitely misread it and it will cause all the nuisance.

A piece of advice to the ladies:- 

Just because of the skin of the models being posted on Instagram is being smoothened and heavily photoshopped doesn’t mean they don’t have stretch marks, pimple or cellulite. What we need to do is, to let go of the standards we have set ourselves.

A real man would never care if you are skinny or if you are fat, the only thing that will piss him off is if you are not loyal else than that, he gonna love that booty the way it is.

It’s only you who is hard on yourself when all you gotta do is love yourself just the way you are, and rather let your man go hard on you, well you gonna love that, ain’t no denying it.

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